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Sometimes it makes no sense:

Well o.k. then.  Glad I cleared that up.  I haven't even had my coffee yet.

Speaking of coffee, why is anyone kicking before coffee when that's clearly a violation of morning energy output regulations?

Oh, and who's whining now?





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Sometimes the end of summer comes with a crash.  Or a crash followed by a smash and then a shoulder sling.

The two minutes of, "Go to the car and wait for me to lock up," is a time rife with danger.  More clothing, shoes, and body parts have been damaged or lost in that tiny window of opportunity than during all other parts of the mothering day.

I need an immobilizer ray gun.  Picture it: I have all the kids dressed and holding required backpacks for whatever outing we are attempting... Then, ZAAAAPPPPP!  There my children stand, frozen to the spot in the driveway, until my purse, cell phone, calender, snacks and keys are in my bag. The house is quietly and efficiently locked behind me.  Then, ZAAAAPPPP! My children are unfrozen, and enter the vehicle in an orderly fashion while calling me blessed.

No muss, no fuss, no fractured coracoid apophysis* on a last frenetic trip down the slide.  No chance to inexplicably lose a shoe or leave a backpack resting behind a car tire.  No chance to engage in a "discussion" over who gets to climb in the car first.

Beauty is a ray gun. Schematics and proposals now being accepted.





*Pain generally precedes learning the name of obscure bones.

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