My vase. Through the eyes of my 4 year old.
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A reminder of how fantastical everyday life really is, if you take the time to look.
Showing posts with label gifts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gifts. Show all posts
Time and Hope
August 23, 2010
by Rieshy
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Time is suddenly in short supply. School has started again for my older children and my 4 year old is healthy.
School is an obvious time sucker, home schooling mom or not, but good health?
Healthy 4 year old's need to go to the park to run off extra energy. Healthy 4 year old's need to be watched every moment and kept busy - especially if said 4 year old has a 2 year old brother with whom to plot mischief.
My 4 year old has never had such a long run of health and energy. His last hospitalization was the end of April. Coming on 4 months now of not just the absence of crisis but 4 months of glowing cheeks, growing body, almost normal energy levels.
Wow.
I remember when he was younger, before his diagnosis, he would sit for hours playing with matchbox cars while I studied with my older children. I could teach the whole morning with barely a peep. He was the "easiest" 2 year old around- but only because he was slowly dying and we didn't know it.
Now.
Now, I am constantly being interrupted, my teaching schedule constantly challenged by restlessness. My writing time ever shrinking.
I'm o.k. with this. I'm more than o.k. I'm in awe. I'm ridiculously happy in that I-feel-compelled-to-do-a-silly-dance-and-embarrass-my-teens sort of way. I'm in hope. Hope that this stage will last.
I love being annoyed that he's running around like a lunatic. Not so much in love that he and the 2 year old took all the sheets, blankets, and pillows off all 4 of the boys beds...
Hope is a delicious thing when you finally make peace with it. Hope is not a prayerful demand. It's the antithesis of worry.
I've been afraid of hope. Afraid of a broken heart. But to learn to truly have hope that my son will be well enables me to smile and love and trust God- and to enjoy the today that I have.
Perhaps for people like me- people who don't like to be wrong- hope is especially difficult. It's ridiculously humbling.
We've been told that children like my 4 year old often have a stretch without crisis from age 4 or 5 until the growth spurt at puberty. I thought that sounded wonderful- so hopeful. My husband said, "Well I'm going to hope for no crises even during puberty." Hope comes easier to him.
With time I'd like to be able to think that way too.
With time.
Time is suddenly in short supply right now- because right now I have time with my son- with all my children.
Because of hope- I don't have to waste that time.
I do however have to go put the blankets back on all the beds.... grrr...
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Time is suddenly in short supply. School has started again for my older children and my 4 year old is healthy.
School is an obvious time sucker, home schooling mom or not, but good health?
Healthy 4 year old's need to go to the park to run off extra energy. Healthy 4 year old's need to be watched every moment and kept busy - especially if said 4 year old has a 2 year old brother with whom to plot mischief.
My 4 year old has never had such a long run of health and energy. His last hospitalization was the end of April. Coming on 4 months now of not just the absence of crisis but 4 months of glowing cheeks, growing body, almost normal energy levels.
Wow.
I remember when he was younger, before his diagnosis, he would sit for hours playing with matchbox cars while I studied with my older children. I could teach the whole morning with barely a peep. He was the "easiest" 2 year old around- but only because he was slowly dying and we didn't know it.
Now.
Now, I am constantly being interrupted, my teaching schedule constantly challenged by restlessness. My writing time ever shrinking.
I'm o.k. with this. I'm more than o.k. I'm in awe. I'm ridiculously happy in that I-feel-compelled-to-do-a-silly-dance-and-embarrass-my-teens sort of way. I'm in hope. Hope that this stage will last.
I love being annoyed that he's running around like a lunatic. Not so much in love that he and the 2 year old took all the sheets, blankets, and pillows off all 4 of the boys beds...
Hope is a delicious thing when you finally make peace with it. Hope is not a prayerful demand. It's the antithesis of worry.
I've been afraid of hope. Afraid of a broken heart. But to learn to truly have hope that my son will be well enables me to smile and love and trust God- and to enjoy the today that I have.
Perhaps for people like me- people who don't like to be wrong- hope is especially difficult. It's ridiculously humbling.
We've been told that children like my 4 year old often have a stretch without crisis from age 4 or 5 until the growth spurt at puberty. I thought that sounded wonderful- so hopeful. My husband said, "Well I'm going to hope for no crises even during puberty." Hope comes easier to him.
With time I'd like to be able to think that way too.
With time.
Time is suddenly in short supply right now- because right now I have time with my son- with all my children.
Because of hope- I don't have to waste that time.
I do however have to go put the blankets back on all the beds.... grrr...
Psalm 71:5 "For You are my hope, O Lord God; You are my trust from my youth."
Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
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Of Bloated Blogs and Beans
October 19, 2009
by Rieshy
I took a large box of my Heirloom Scarlet Runner beans to the park yesterday to shell while the older kids did P.E. and the younger kids played. When you first shell these beans they are bright pink and purple. Easter egg pink and purple.
Unfortunately by the time I got home to take a picture they had already started to dry. When completely dry they are still pretty, but turn a very respectable and normal bean color of burgundy and black.
It made me think of how tempting it can be to wax poetic in my blog about all sorts of rather ordinary events, like pink beans, in order to come across as deeper, or more joyful, or more spiritual than I really am. It's also tempting to me merely because I'm a word lover and descriptive phrases are fun to write.
Opening the pods to reveal gleaming pink and purple peas- perfect chance to rave about joy and beauty being present in any mundane task. Actually, I was surprised and pleased and enjoyed showing them to my friends, several of whom took baggies home to plant in their gardens next Spring. End of story, nothing terribly deep. Except...
It reminded me of a challenge that I read about to not allow computer time and blogging to suck all creativity and mommy time away. I've been thinking about that for a couple of days.
I'm obsessive compulsive enough that I can easily get carried away and spend my time quite poorly- leaving responsibilities by the wayside. My 15 yo and I were talking about this and laughed together at the image we created of a mom sitting at the computer while children beg for attention only to hear, "Shut up and go watch a movie, I'm busy with my parenting blog."
As an exercise I thought I'd attempt to write and post, spending just 30 minutes. A Lean Post, Non Bloated Post- as it were. Currently there is a wiggly toddle in my lap eating a banana. I think I ought to get credit for posting in 15 minutes- the stickiness factor being quite an obstacle to good typing.
This is part of the 30 min. Moms Challenge.
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