Super Human Housewife?

July 26, 2011 by Rieshy

I was spinning wool into yarn today while watching I Am Number 4 with my children, for the 4th time, when it occurred to me that I'm so hopelessly domestic that I'm past the point of alien super powers.

Bear with me.  I love the idea of super powers.  I even 'fess up to admitting that I enjoy I Am Number 4. Yet, putting super powers on along with my tek sandals and Gap sundress in the morning wouldn't really impact my life.

If I could suddenly fight with super strength.... against whom? My toddler?

Perhaps I could call a babysitter to come over while I troll dark alleys trying to pick a fight.  Um, baby sitters are expensive and actually, our small town doesn't really have any dark alleys.

O.k. free-running without fear of a sprained ankle would be awesome.  Huge even, really huge.  Instead of barely making it through Pilates at the rec center I could race about, leaping and flipping over park tables while my Littles played on the playground.

Again, though fun, not really life altering.  It does amuse me to imagine it; I already get strange looks for merely hanging from the monkey bars.

Moving on- being fireproof?  On a daily basis I am thankful to say that being fireproof has never been a necessary aspect of my life.  Being able to read minds?  I have teenagers, do you seriously think you could peacibly coexist with such creatures if you could read their every unfiltered thought?!? 

Do you see the pattern?  If I was suddenly embuued with alien super powers while somehow still remaining me, the powers would be superfluous instead of super-anything.

Though, now that I think about it, when my 3 year old was in his biting stage being able to lift him away from his intended victim with a lumen force field would have been fabulous...


Melanie said...

Love this! And I'm glad to know that super powers wouldn't really help as a mom. BTW totally agree about reading teenagers minds. Who wants THAT in their head?

pattihatescancer said...

Just a couple of days ago I came through the living room to find my grown sons watching The Fantastic Four on cable. I sat down to watch for a short few moments (movie was too stupid to stick with). There was a scene where male and female superhero characters were discussing the possibilty of "living a normal life" and the difficulty of "raising a family", considering their lifestyle. My son - totally serious - exclaimed, "Are they crazy?! They really think they can live a normal life?! That's so stupid!" He was so incensed; I had to stop myself from asking if he realized it was fiction.

Anonymous said...

I've always wished I had the super-power ability to pause time. Now THAT would come in handy as a mom. Hubby coming home in ten minutes, but you're still unshowered and in your jammies? Pause! Now take your sweet time fixing yourself up, and while you're at it, whip up a simple gourmet meal, and straighten the house. Tired? Catch a quick nap before you re-start time! Sigh. The possibilities are endless...


Unknown said...

I would like the superhero power of needing only three minutes of sleep each day. Sadly, I'm just stuck waffling between being a troll and a fire breathing dragon.

Rieshy said...

I stand corrected, mom's do need the super power of pausing time. Then we wouldn't need the super power of subsisting on 3 minutes of sleep.

Rebecca Richmond said...

How about being able to get a toddler to eat any food you put in front of him. Green Beans, no problem. Brussel Sprouts, yummy. Now that's a super power!!!!!!!

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