Old Papers- Part 5

August 19, 2009 by Rieshy

This section of my Mom's old talks is pretty short. She mentions the death of my brother Nathan. He was the youngest of the 4 of us. A veritable golden-boy. Platinum hair, blue eyes, smart as a whip, athletic, annoying but already charismatic. My mom walked to meet Nathan after school each day in order to walk him home. One afternoon he ran across the street to greet her instead of waiting for her and was hit by a car and killed instantly. He was 7 years old.

I never got the opportunity to talk to my mom about Nathan's death from a mother's perspective because Mom died while my oldest child was still a baby. Finding these papers has been interesting, to say the least. This section particularly makes me fully feel the lost opportunity to ask her questions- the notes are the briefest and the hardest to read. I am sure she said quite a bit more at the retreat where she gave these talks.

I believe the last line is a quote from C.S. Lewis. The photo shows Nathan when he was barely out of toddler-hood. He was a cutie with those saddle shoes.

Why Joy?

That is like asking why did someone invent coffee ice cream.

God promises lots of things and one of the re-occurring promises is that of joy.

He wants us, His women, to be happy. To be secure in the fact that He rules the World. He Has Last Say. The ultimate promise is in Luke 10:20... "rejoice that your names are written in Heaven."

God wants us to take all those problems we have talked about last night, all those times of suffering and give them to him so we can find the joy. Look thru and see.

Joy like my husband and I received after the death of Nathan. We were overwhelmed of course. By the agony of his absence. By the absence forever from our lives- but God was there with us just like He promised. Psalms 30:11 became real to us. A precious reminder that He fill the void.

Psalms 30:11 "Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing; thou hast loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness, that my soul may praise thee and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to thee for ever."

I remember being in our living room the night Nathan was killed... I had to say, "Thank you Lord, because you have already given joy instead- peace that turned into joy." I hadn't thought to blame God. He was there with me and gave me acceptance of the situation.

I was surprised by joy because it came so quietly and quickly.