Why Buy A Zoo Pass?

April 21, 2010 by Rieshy
Or: Aiming High

I was out with my soon-to-turn 4 yo son yesterday at a plant nursery.  They didn't have a bathroom, just a Port-A-John.  "Uh, oh," I thought.  It was pretty high on the gross scale and I wasn't sure if my little man would be willing to make use of it.

My son tripped walking in and landed hugging the potty seat with his face inches from a spider web, complete with spider, that stretched over the negative space in the seat.  "Hey mom, a spider."  I'm mentally bathing both of us in Purell as I quickly grab paper and break the web.  At this point there is no way I would sit on that seat, but my son hops up and begins looking around with bright, entertained eyes as I step outside to wait.

"Hey mom, this place is weird, but pretty cool."


"Hey Mom, what's this weird place called?"

"It's a Port-A-John."  I can hear my son repeating the name.

"Can we go to the potty store and buy one for our house?"

"Ummm...," I hedge.

He interrupts before I have to answer, "Hey Mom, this has a cool window in the top."

"Please stop talking and hurry."

"Oh, but I have millions of stuff inside me."

Ughh, it's windy and the Port-A-John reeks.  "O.k."

"Hey Mom, where does poop come from?"

I give a brief description and hear him answer, "Oh, so toilets are like trash cans?"

"Sort-of, but just for your body.  Please hurry up and concentrate on finishing."

"Hey Mom, can we go to the potty place and buy our own Port-A-John, and then we can put it in my bedroom and I can sleep on the floor next to it?"

Me, trying not to laugh, "Ummm, I don't think they sell them to regular people."

"Oh," my son sounds disappointed. There was a longer pause, then; "Hey Mom,  can we run more errands and any time I need to potty can we come back here?"

Now I know what we can do for summer vacation.
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My Mercurial Nature said...

Oh LOL! that was too funny! How is it that these kids are so fascinated by the mundane (or the disgusting)?!

Cheeseboy said...

Those port o' Johns always have me curious too. Where does all the poop go?

Unknown said...

ew. ew. hahahaha. ew.

Dana said...

Ew and gross and how sweet all wrapped into one. :)

imoomie said...

Hilarious. Absolutely, innocently, hilarious!

I don't know what else to say, I am speechless.

p.s. I like spiders too.

Rieshy said...


"Where does all the poop go?" You teach 1st grade, that sounds like the intro for a field trip. I'd love to see the letter home.

alexis nicole said...

Laughing (really hard) out loud!

Anonymous said...

OH that was fantastic! Emily was fascinated with them as well and I would rather burst my bladder or go in the woods than use one.

If I win the lottery tonight, can I buy him one?!

Pretty, Pretty Please with sugar ontop????

Sheri said...

I finally stopped laughing enough to type this comment, lol. How funny! As the mom of two boys, this does not surprise me at all!

goodwitchglinda said...

So funny and so cute! I have two baby boys...oh, the fun that awaits me! Thank you for sharing.

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